


Merimnáō

by MavisMelisande



Series: Memory [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dominant Kylo Ren, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, POV Multiple, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 01:21:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15256293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavisMelisande/pseuds/MavisMelisande
Summary: Supreme Leader Snoke has sent Kylo Ren to determine if things are actually going to plan on General Hux' pet project, concerned that multiple delays mean that the venture is inherently flawed. While spying on Hux, Kylo has also been tasked with studying survival tactics on an ice planet for a future mission that he is to undertake. Things go a bit wonky when he's asked to help with Officer's Training, and, as you'd expect, he can't pass up any opportunity to push Hux' buttons. But something that had started as a way for him to undermine Hux turns into something he didn't expect.This is Kylo's story during the events if Merimna, and will have multiple POV's. This is a companion story and occurs simultaneously and with overlap. Although possible to read as a standalone, there will be references that will confuse things.Also there is considerably less plot than Merimna. Smutty bits are notated with a *.





	1. Balance

**32 ABY**

**The Retribution - 12G Sector - The Unknown Regions**

**_Kylo - Day 6_ **

Space drifted by, the stars bright sparks in the dark. Emergency track lighting provided the only illumination in the room, it was supposed to be peaceful, it was supposed to help me find my center. I closed my eyes as I adjusted my stance, bracing my hands and extending my legs further into the air as I balanced. Sweat condensed on my flesh, droplets falling from my face to land on the mat. I released a staggered breath as I tried to wipe my mind clear, but anxiety burbled. 

My mission to Anoth had been a waste. Snoke had hoped that General Organa had left something there, some scrap of information that would lead us to the Resistance. I’d told him that she was too smart for that, but he sent me anyway. The furniture had been covered, a layer of dust coating the fabric, the floors, every surface. No documents remained, no family photographs... Anoth Base was empty save for memories of a family that no longer existed. 

I had stood in the room that had been mine when I was young, staring at the small bed that I had been too large for, even then... At the desk where I had conducted my studies… At the window seat that had been my solace when the fighting started. I’d gazed through the transparisteel at the barren, frigid expanse of the fragment that had been a hidden refuge from the threats Leia had always thought existed. But Snoke hadn’t needed to know my location to find me. He had always known where I was... Who I was with, what I was doing, what I wanted... He always knew. 

Staring into that barren expanse had always given me some level of peace. I would crawl from the bed when the screaming started, sitting in the window seat with my blanket wrapped around my shoulders. I’d peer through the dark at the glowing Anothian Crystals and tell myself that if they could survive here, I could too. The voice in the back of my head would soothe me, as it always did, as it always had. It would tell me that my parents didn’t mean it, that they loved each other, that they loved me... And then, slowly, over the years, it changed. And I did too. The voice whispered malicious hatred and it bloomed within my chest with every hiss. And then the voice told me what I could become, what I could achieve… If only I would listen. 

I didn’t know when I had finally realized that it was not my innervoice that would speak to me, but Snoke. A year ago, perhaps? It’s not like it mattered, now. I wondered if he’d truly thought we’d find some intelligence on the Resistance at Anoth, or if he’d sent me as some sort of test, to gauge how I felt about the family that had abandoned me.  _ The family that no longer existed, _ I reminded myself. I would need to be careful the next time he wiggled into my mind. I’d felt too sentimental about the ragged floating mass of rock. I was out of balance, like a planet with a variable tilt, circling around the person I was supposed to become. I dropped from the handstand as my arms started to shake, back hitting the cool mat with a slap, breathing heavily as I stared up at blackened durasteel. 

My impulsive, self imposed mission to Skye had been just as fruitless as my expedition to Anoth. There had been nothing left of Kharys or of my grandfather. The S’kytri hated the Empire, not understanding what they had been given, what they had lost. They had wiped out every sign of Darth Vader’s existence on the planet, and any notes on Khary’s training, any possessions that she might have had... It was all long gone. 

My visit had put the Retribution severely behind schedule. We were dropping off supplies on Bathras 9 six days after I had already been scheduled to land at Starkiller, and we had multiple stops yet to make. Hask screamed his little head off when he thought I wasn’t within hearing distance, and made fervent excuses and pleas of forgiveness to Hux at every turn. 

The last month had been rather trying, I’d admit. But Hask had made everything more difficult than it needed to be. I would only take partial responsibility for the events leading up to our strained...  _ Conversation _ earlier today.  _ They _ all made it harder than it needed to be, really. Officers, that is. 

To be fair, I’d put Hask in a bad position. I told him  _ not  _ to report to Starkiller. It was an order that he declined to follow. The command structure between Hux and I was admittedly a little blurred. Armitage Hux was General of the First Order. I was Commander of the First Order, Master of the Knights of Ren... I suppose I could understand Gideon Hask’s confusion. But I’d been placed in  _ command  _ of the Retribution, giving a bit more definition to the whole scenario. I’d come to the conclusion that Gideon (Gid to his friends) Hask was more afraid of Hux than he was of me. It wasn’t long before he came around to my way of thinking. 

The Retribution had been out of contact with Starkiller Base for four hours now, and there wasn’t nearly enough yelling. Someone on this ship was sending status reports to Hux, and if I discovered who it was before I landed on the blasted ice planet, I would be certain to explain command structure to them just as I had Hask. I freshened up with the sonics, falling into bed with muscle fatigue and emotional strain, my eyes closing immediately. 

*****

I spent the next four days primarily in my quarters, deleting messages from Hux before I read them, reading guides on how to survive for extended periods in sub-zero conditions. Snoke had told me nothing other than I was to prepare for such an eventuality, and that I was to practice my research on Starkiller. And I took pleasure in my most recent conquest, a pretty little officer from the pits. 

It had started like it always did, with furtive glances and a blush on her cheeks as she imagined what was under the helmet, under the armor. It was one of my favorite things, to see what people thought was hidden beneath all the layers of black. Either I was delighted and surprised, or I knew who I would blame next time something went wrong on the ship. And then the fantasies started, and she nearly projected them into my damn skull whenever I was in the room. I might’ve pursued her anyway, but she did the one thing that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go after. 

She was on the tail end of her shift in the pits, as I stood with Hask, looking out over Kedhys Rhea. Hux’ voice filtered over the speakers for one of his vapid, pre-recorded speeches that were meant to increase loyalty and morale. She shivered, remembering when she’d met General Armitage Hux, the dreams she’d had under sweat soaked sheets. And my favorite game started: sleep with every woman that secretly, or even not so secretly, wanted to bang Hux in a dark closet. 

Hux took his command too seriously, and he would never deign to sleep with one of his officers, even if he knew of their feelings, even if he possibly shared them. The first time I’d done it, it had been his administrative assistant,  Anette Tayly. He’d hated it, but he bit his tongue and beared it, until he caught us in his office. I felt bad about that one, truly. She’d been transferred to some obscure position with Kuat, far, far away from Hux. After that, I just made sure not to get caught. 

My datapad beeped, and the missive I’d been waiting for from Hask appeared. We were due to exit lightspeed in half an hour. I collected my things and headed for the Command Shuttle. It would be early morning on Starkiller, perhaps I could sneak by without having to see Hux. What a wonder that would be. The Retribution dropped the Command Shuttle to orbit Starkiller before making a hasty retreat to rejoin the Supremacy’s complement. I was certain that Hask was glad to be rid of me. After descending to the planetary surface, we docked in the hangar, and I headed for my rooms, watching with understated glee when everyone skittered out of my way. As if on cue, Hux turned the corner just as I was walking up to my door. He tried to be imposing, leaning into my space. 

“Where have you been?” He glowered. I smiled, although the tension in my back started to rise. 

“It is none of your concern,” I declared, waiting for the fallout. 

“When you arrive on  _ my  _ base is most certainly my concern,” he hissed.  _ His base.  _ Interesting. I shrugged, pushing past him and into my quarters, forcing the doors shut. 

Snoke had called Starkiller Hux’ pet project, and I’d brushed it to the side. The man was obsessive and he had pride in everything he worked on. I’d heard  _ my officers _ before,  _ my plans _ , but never  _ my base.  _ He’d had a large hand in designing the dreadnoughts that Kuat had begun manufacturing, but he didn’t call them  _ his ships.  _ Perhaps Snoke was right, and Hux was too wrapped up in his expectations for this base that he didn’t see what was actually occuring around him. And thus, the reason I was here. Snoke had tasked me to spy on Hux, and I was giddy at the thought of finding something to report. 

When I walked through to my living quarters, Aminah was standing by my scarcely used desk with a stack of papers. She was wearing her dress uniform, heels sinking into my carpet. 

“We have a staff meeting tonight. I was instructed to tell you not to be late,” she said, standing tall, staring me in the mask. I dropped my bag, moving slowly forward. 

“Were you?” I asked, raising a brow that I knew she couldn’t see. She flushed, but set her stack on the edge of my desk, ignoring my question. 

“I was also told to have you catch up on status reports for the base, as it is your first visit.” She gestured at the papers. I circled her slowly, and she twitched nervously although she tried to remain confident. 

“Why are you really here?” I queried as I drifted closer. She crossed her arms, a subconscious gesture to protect herself. She gave me an obstinate look. “I will give you one chance to tell me why you are here,” I growled. 

“I told you…” She started, and I lifted my arm up, using the force to push her to her knees. 

“Mmm. We could have had a nice reunion, had you decided to be honest.” I stepped forward, gripping her chin as she glared up at me. Aminah could never admit that she enjoyed our little meetings, but I felt her body hum with tension when I entered a room, I heard her thoughts. 

“The General will be expecting me in his office shortly, for our morning meeting.” She struggled to say.  _ The General. _ The words had been accompanied by a flash in her mind of her in this same position, but it was a different gloved hand that forced her mouth open. I growled, gripping her face with more force. 

“You’re going to be late, I’m afraid.” She scowled up at me, but reached up to release me from my pants. 


	2. Quiet *

**32 ABY**

**Hux’ Office, Meeting Room - Starkiller Base - The Unknown Regions**

**_Kylo - Day 10_ **

I’d arrived for Hux’ inane meeting, a full twenty minutes late. Had tardiness not been mentioned earlier in the day, I’d have been on time. I didn’t know if Hux had actually wanted Aminah to tell me not to be late or if it was her way of baiting me, but either way, I would be obstinate. I filtered through Aminah’s thoughts as the boring meeting continued, and she was actually paying attention. I made a disgusted face as she made notes in her datapad. 

Towards the end of the meeting, the energy in the room subtly shifted, and I could tell that Hux had started to seriously shield. He was tapping through screens on his datapad as he apparently absentmindedly brought up the next subject. 

“Ren, I’ve moved forward with selecting the team that we had discussed. I would like your help as we move forward with their training.” Aminah was projecting her anger at being excluded, Hux was blocking any thoughts from escaping his thick skull, and Phasma had a humorous and yet not entirely incorrect vision of my facial expression. I was intrigued, but I made sure that I didn’t show it with my body language. 

“What would you like my help with?” I asked, eyes narrowed. Something else was certainly going on, but I had no idea what it could be. 

“Supreme Leader’s future plans will require a specialized team. It has been our goal with this batch of recruits to find the appropriate members of that team. They were all chosen from the Conservatory and other ships for advancement due to their excellent scores.” I frowned. Excellent scores derived from simulations did not add to my estimation of anyone. “Supreme Leader Snoke values your opinions, and truly you have an edge here where I do not. I would like you to hand pick a select few, and then train them separately.” No true thoughts came through, but I could tell that he believed what he was saying. But the idea of training some of his officers was appealing, if only for the idea that it gave me more power to slowly drive Hux insane. But the extra work wasn’t something I was keen on, and the fact that he thought I had time for it was annoying. Agitation built, and I resisted the urge to clench my hands into fists. 

“They will of course conjoin with the regular teams, I don’t expect you to take on Officer’s Training in addition to your busy schedule.” It was a bone that he had obviously tossed in to make it all slide down a little easier. Anger flooded me from Phasma’s side of the table, along with a steady dose of confusion. Something much larger was at work here, their dynamic had changed. “You would be their direct superior, and have the freedom to train them as you wish.” My eyebrows raised, he was laying it on thick. He wanted me to take on this role, he wanted me to be involved. “Furthermore, if this goes well, I will take into consideration your recommendations over the last few years with  more acuity.” I leaned forward in interest. I sensed some sort of trap, but I didn’t understand it. I mentally shrugged. Only one way to find out.

“And who do you recommend?”

“The team would consist of ten members. I have selected fifteen for your perusal. I have starred the ones I think you would most like.” He sighed before sliding the datapad in my direction. 

“And why do you think that I would most like these three?” I asked, tabbing through the report for something to do. I didn’t read much, I knew Hux would tell me what I needed to know. 

“Officer Bani has shown exceptional skill. She is more… rigid than I would think you would normally like, however she is stubborn and does not back down.” He was proud of Officer Bani. And by rigid, he meant behaved. Irritation began to burn at my neck, but curiosity won out. He was trying so hard to block his thoughts that his emotions were more tangible than they were normally, and I was eager for some clue of what was really going on. Aminah never seemed to care what I picked up from her brain, and to be honest, I very rarely cared for what I found. Phasma had calmed to the point of not projecting, and I didn’t dig. I focused on Hux. 

“And the others?” I asked, wanting him to get to the kriffing point. 

“Natalis is crafty. She would do well under your tutelage. She is struggling under mine, she is chafing under my restricted ideals, and I feel that I owe it to her to give her every opportunity at success. She would do well with hands on training.” He was sickeningly sincere, he wanted nothing more than this woman to succeed. The tension in my neck increased. He was doing so well to tiptoe around what he really thought.  _ Restricted ideals.  _ He thought we were all children without his developed sense of morality. I thought about leaving. But I wanted to know what this all was about. I could tell he was putting something off. I jumped to the next name, lest he postpone further. 

“And Specialist Saphren Varien?” The room exploded with emotion. Hux became a complete void, but Phasma had nearly lunged forward in her chair in surprise. But Aminah… Aminah was  _ livid _ . Confusion tore at her, and a sense of betrayal burbled in the forefront of her mind as she stared at Hux. 

“She is ambitious, ambitious, and very intelligent.” With every compliment he gave the Specialist, Aminah became more and more distraught. “I find myself comparing her to you every day. But I cannot deny that she is skilled. She comes from a unique background. She received her initial training before enlistment, during a civil war in her sector. She has hands on training, something that you have begged me to implement on multiple occasions. I have selected her as one of my top three because she would do very well on the mission that Supreme Leader has planned, and because I’m sure you two will be thick as thieves.” Impetuous… It was something he hated, ever the strategist. I couldn’t count the number of times he’d seeped with derision because of something he thought I had done impulsively.  But when he used it to reference her, it was somehow a compliment.

Aminah was reeling with jealousy, her thoughts going too fast for me to catch on the surface, with the exception of a few, very strong items. Aminah Eidhn hated Specialist Saphren Varien. And I realized, she thought that Hux had feelings for this woman. And it was absolutely unacceptable to her, the possibility that Hux would have feelings for someone other than her. She was acting like he was her philandering husband, nevermind that my cock had been shoved down her throat a few hours earlier. I bit my tongue. We’d been  _ philandering  _ for nearly two years, my longest engagement. I had thus far been unable to wipe the thought of Hux from her mind. I’d have to remind her who she went to bed with. My jaw ached with the tension held there. 

“Very well. I will take your recommendations into consideration. How would you like me to proceed with my selection?” My voice was even, I sounded composed, but fury was starting to rise, my muscles tensing as it filled me, as the force began to vibrate around me. 

“Tomorrow we will have a series of hand-to-hand trials. I will have you watch from the observation deck, and then I will have you fight with a select few. And then you will have the final say as to who you would like to take on.” 

“Fine. Send me the details.” I stood, shoving the datapad back at Hux. I was eager to leave. Aminah was projecting so loudly it was giving me a headache. 

“Oh, and Ren?” He paused, and I knew that something I wouldn’t like was coming. “Never forget that I am the General of the First Order. You may be a commander and you may be Snokes favorite little pet, but when you are delayed you will inform me. You do not outrank me, and we may share similar ranks of different branches, but you will never again ignore my messages or I will come down on you with the full force of the army  _ I have built. Are we understood? _ ” I grit my teeth as the anger seemed to pour from every nerve, the dark side of the force feeding hungrily on the volatile series of emotions. The table flipped, nearly of its own accord with the burst of acrimony that came from me. I stopped it before it totally crushed Aminah, the twit too distracted by her own envy to move out of the way. 

“We are not understood, General Hux. I make my own way and I do not take orders from a mongrel like you. Remember that I am above your silly hierarchy.” I stormed from the room, fists clenching as the doors opened ahead of me. I hated that man. I shoved my way through the Command Center, pushing Mitaka out of my way with the force. I made it down the hall and around a corner before the fight within broke out, the light and the dark swirling for control of my emotions. The saber came free and I released the growing energy by slashing into Hux’ beautiful, all important space station. I was breathing heavily, staring at the melted, torn metal in front of me. It hadn’t been enough. 

I marched towards my quarters, passing the door as I continued down the hall and around the corner. I overrode the pad with the force, the doors sliding open as I thundered past. The moment I was through the hall, I pulled her towards me, her feet sliding on durasteel as the force propelled her towards me. Her hair was loose, inky waves flowing behind her. I gripped her throat, and she stared up at me, blue eyes wide. She was wearing more makeup than she did on any given day, her lips a deep crimson, her body swathed in a flimsy nightgown. She’d planned for the possibility of my visit. 

“Commander Ren,” She wheezed. I wrapped my gloves in her hair, wrenching her neck as I turned her, sliding up to press myself against her backside. Fear slithered up her spine, anticipation buzzing in the forefront of her mind. I walked her forward, shoving her over the armrest of the nearest chair.

“Quiet,” I hissed, pushing the silky fabric up her pale legs, gripping the flesh of her thighs before wrenching them further apart. I ripped at her underwear until it tore, pressing her further into the chair as she shrieked, compressing her throat against the other armrest. “Did I not tell you to be quiet?” I cautioned, pulling back slightly as she gulped in air. I shoved my robes out of the way, pulling myself free before sliding against her. She was warm and wet, and I slammed my way in, her flesh straining and gripping around me as I sank halfway in. Her hands scrabbled on the fabric as she swallowed her wail. I pulled at her hair as I thrust, slowly working all the way into her tight heat before starting a punishing pace. She whined as she tried to keep her screams in her throat. Her thoughts were scrambled, pleasure and pain lancing through her. I caught an image of Hux bending her over her terminal and I growled. 

Pulling her up with her hair and a hand on her pert little breasts, I trapped her legs between the chair as I pounded up into her. 

“Remember who you’re fucking, darling,” I admonished before gripping her throat, and she was unable to control herself any longer, howling through the pressure as she clenched around me, her mind going white with her orgasm. I turned and dropped her, pulling her up and twisting her before forcing myself in her mouth. Her supple lips wrapped around me, velvety smooth. She sucked, her already sharp cheekbones concaving further with the suction. She took me deep and I released deep into her throat, bucking as she swallowed around me. 

I relinquished my hold on her, and she fell to the ground, heavy breaths wracking her slim form. I collapsed into the chair, pulling my helmet as I took in as much air as I could. 

When my breathing steadied, I rose and put myself to rights before helping Kate upright. She gave me a sleepy, satisfied smile. I tossed her over my shoulder and carried her to bed, depositing her atop the grey comforter. 

“Alright, Chief Petty Officer Unamo?” I asked as she stared up at me. Her thoughts were loud, echoing in my skull. She thought about asking me to stay, but she knew she was being foolish. She thought about how sore she was, how sore she would be. I smiled as I put my helmet back over my head. She thought about how she would hide the bruises on her neck, how she would explain her hoarse voice, her wobbling legs. “Goodnight, Kate.”

“Goodnight, Commander.” I left her quarters, feeling lighter than I had in some time. I passed Kasra as she was letting herself into Hux’ rooms, arms full of laundry. She stood stock still, blonde hair curling towards the sky. I brushed gloved fingers across her shoulder blades as I passed, and she shuddered, glancing after me with a blush on her cheeks. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is greatly appreciated!  
> I do not have a beta, so all mistakes are my own.  
> Comments are life. <3 Kudos are love.
> 
> As always, Star Wars and the beloved characters involved do not belong to me.
> 
> Feel free to message me any questions, comments, or possible requests.


End file.
